they forgot the Yet!

There is pattern in me
Well maybe it’s a rhythm as it’s made of sound, it’s made of words
I want to talk but it’s not just words that need to be said
But a sound to be made
A rhythm to be spoken

Where can you go when you are at the bottom of your pit
When there is no light
When it seems there will never be any light again

Do you give in?

After a week of wondering
Shall I give in,
Shall I just lay down in the dark and wither away
Decompose, dehydrate into a pile of dust
Dust to dust
Ashes to ashes
After a week I made a decision
A small decision
But nevertheless a decision.

I would survive.

Don’t know how.
Don’t even know why
I’ve been here before - curled up in the bottom of this pit
I can’t guarantee I’ll not be here again …
If anything I could probably guarantee that I will be here again.
I gave everything I had
Everything
Not just my skills, and gifts
Not just my joys and desires
Everything.
All of me
My doubts and fears as well – I faced them, I owned them and offered them as well
They took it all
threw it away – and said
“It’s not good enough, it’s not right, it’s not complete”
You’re not good enough
You’re not right
You’re not complete

Yet.. they forgot the yet
I’m not good enough yet
I’m not right yet
I’m not complete yet
None of us are.

I made a decision
A small decision
But nevertheless a decision.
I would survive.
Don’t know how
Don’t even know why

But I will.